The kids have gone back to school, the decorations are down and there is a large hole where a little cat used to be. Chickpea died between Christmas and New Year, she was in her 20th year and as we joked about her living forever, she went downhill really fast.
It’s not just the emotional hole she’s left, it’s the amount of physical space she took up. My studio, where she spent most days, sleeping on my lap, had a pile of blankets in case she had one of her fits and needed containing. Half of the large couch in the living room was taken up with her bed, ‘The Donut’ (Jay Dilla spelling, obvs). This was a deep nest of blankets with high walls, again to stop her injuring herself if she had a fit during the night. she had her own glass of water on the hearth, the only place she would drink from. A couple of years ago, she decided that she didn’t want to go do her mucky biz in the garden. Why bother when she can use the space in the hallway, just behind the front door. We had her tray there but she would only wee in it. Like most ladies of a certain vintage, she liked to poo on the floor. So, we spent a lot of time picking up shit and scrubbing the floor. There was the space in the kitchen where her food bowl was. She had problems with her digestive system and could never eat dry food, right from when she was a kitten. She was on special food that cost a fortune and most of which was thrown away after she sucked the juice and left the chunks that she managed to scatter all over the floor. All this has gone and I’d be lying if I said there was no relief there.
She was a ghost at the end, she stopped washing and couldn’t eat. She had been such a singular thing; played fetch like a dog and picked fights with any cat that dared encroach on her turf. We already missed that cat, and the sleepy, needy feline she slowly became. I said goodbye to her on many occasions, usually when she was recovering from one of her fits but I wish she was here now, on my knee, snoring gently. Goodbye Chickpea, thank you.
What a beautiful tribute. She sounds awesome x
Sorry for your loss but at least she isn't suffering anymore.